Different shades of me, and you

I have been devouring a lot of books lately, only it doesn’t feel so much like “devouring” because it’s on Kindle. Yes, it’s convenient to be able to buy any book at any time. Yes, it’s nice not to have to remember which page I am on when I fall asleep reading because Kindle does the thinking for me. And yes, it’s nice that 90 books weigh less than half a pound in my hand. But, it always feels like something is missing, it’s just not enough. I love the smell of books, I love filling my library with books, I love going back to old books and reading the parts I highlighted. I just don’t get that with Kindle, it’s not as satisfying. So last week, after finishing 2 books by a new favorite author of mine, I decided that enough is enough, the third will be a hard copy. Off I went to the bookstore to buy it and browse through other similar titles.

With little time on my hand, between work and grocery shopping and getting home to my kid, I didn’t have the luxury to look around and stroll as I normally would. Instead, I went straight to the counter and asked the nice lady to point me in the direction of my book. She looked it up on her computer and then said, loudly, “You can find it in the Self-Help Section, ma’am”. I looked around, mortified, hoping no one heard. How shameful, I thought. Me, buying a book from the dreaded “self-help” section? And on top of that, me being called “ma’am”? Never!

Flashbacks from old movies with women leaning on the shelves of the self-help aisle with a box of tissues next to them, rubbing their red noses with tears streaming down their faces immediately came to mind. No. I am not a “self-help” kind of person.

So I stood there, looking down at my phone – as you do when you need to pretend to be busy – with the dilemma rolling in my mind. I was torn between really wanting the book, and not wanting to appear “uncool”. Ironically, the book I was looking for is about authenticity. And there I was, behaving in complete contradiction to how I feel. In the end, I decided to go buy my book and a few more too, from the self-help section.

This got me thinking; is “selective” authenticity considered authentic, or does it completely defy the purpose of being congruent and true to ourselves? I started questioning myself and wondering why I sometimes go with the flow, even when the flow doesn’t suit me. I find myself engaged in conversations and nodding along, sometimes even actively participating, when on the inside I’m going against my natural inclinations. Because of my sensitivity to the disapproval of others and in my desire to make people feel heard and understood, I have often compromised my own need for individuality. This thought shook my balance and forced me to ask myself a tough question: am I a fake?

I realized, after deciding to be kinder and less judgmental to myself, that being understanding to others, having social graces to listen and, yes, to take part in small talk is not inauthentic. Taking authenticity to the point where we refuse to engage in discussions that contradict our opinions and insisting on sticking to one rigid image of ourselves, regardless of the situation, is pretentious. I act silly and playful with my daughter, serious and firm during meetings, loving and flirtatious with my husband, patient and gentle with my grandmother. Does this mean I am being inauthentic because I adopt different personas in different situations? Absolutely not. Our authenticity lies in our ability to adapt to changing situations. Being true to myself means valuing my own growth, nourishing my own energy, and at the same time accepting and respecting where others stand on their own journeys.

I arrived at the conclusion that I am not a fake. I am real, and I am embracing the different shades of me. All of them.

So, today I might read a “self-help” book that holds profound ideas about our unconscious minds and our reason for being. Tomorrow, I will read a magazine article about the latest fashion trends. And that’s as real as it gets.

29 Comments
  1. Dana April 4, 2018 at 7:01 am - Reply

    Thank you for an authentic blog. I stumbled on you page by accident or fate. I love you authenticity. Your writing resonates with me.

  2. Muna May 3, 2018 at 6:37 am - Reply

    Dear Dana, thank you very much for your message. What we perceive in others is a reflection of who we are, so this means you are authentic person yourself 🙂 there’s no such thing as luck or accidents, you stumbled upon my page for a reason…
    Sincerely,
    Muna

  3. Ellsworth Karlson May 19, 2019 at 1:38 pm - Reply

    Great blog here! Also your web site loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  4. see it here June 13, 2019 at 2:32 am - Reply

    I just want to say I’m beginner to blogging and site-building and truly enjoyed your web blog. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You amazingly have beneficial writings. Kudos for sharing with us your website page.

  5. Tractor Workshop Manuals June 16, 2019 at 4:16 pm - Reply

    I like what you guys are creating here. Such smart work and writing! Carry on with the superb works guys. I have incorporated your site into my blogroll and my website about HCG. I think it will improve the value of my websiteand the traffic too.

  6. Emerson Gaucin June 16, 2019 at 10:10 pm - Reply

    I recently added this website to my bookmarks. I like reading you. It had been quite helpful and helped me tons!

  7. Christopher Powsey June 28, 2019 at 12:52 am - Reply

    Wonderful site. Lots of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks for your effort!

  8. Colby Akkerman June 28, 2019 at 3:48 am - Reply

    What i do not realize is if truth be told how you are no longer actually a lot more smartly-appreciated than you may be right now. You are so intelligent. You know therefore considerably relating to this topic, produced me for my part consider it from a lot of various angles. Its like men and women don’t seem to be fascinated unless it is something to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. At all times maintain it up!

  9. Helena Aalderink June 30, 2019 at 3:47 am - Reply

    Hey there, You’ve done a fantastic job. I will definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I’m confident they’ll be benefited from this website.

  10. Deeanna Buffey July 1, 2019 at 2:38 pm - Reply

    Spot i’ll carry on with this write-up, I actually think this site needs considerably more consideration. I’ll more likely be once more to see a great deal more, thanks for that information.

  11. Marcelo Buczynski July 3, 2019 at 5:09 am - Reply

    I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

  12. Holli Mcglothin July 7, 2019 at 2:05 am - Reply

    I’ve been gone for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thanks, I will try and check back more often. How often do you update your website?

  13. Joseph Galbiso July 8, 2019 at 3:17 pm - Reply

    I am curious to find out what blog platform you have been utilizing? I’m experiencing some minor security problems with my latest blog and I would like to find something more safe. Do you have any recommendations?

  14. Toby Benward July 9, 2019 at 7:53 pm - Reply

    whoah this weblog is great i really like reading your articles. Keep up the great paintings! You already know, a lot of people are searching around for this info, you could aid them greatly.

  15. look at this website July 11, 2019 at 10:09 am - Reply

    Howdy here, just turned receptive to your blog site through Bing and yahoo, and realized that it’s quite beneficial. I will appreciate should you continue on these.

  16. Harland Rynearson July 11, 2019 at 3:22 pm - Reply

    Great post, you have pointed out some good details , I too conceive this s a very wonderful website.

  17. My URL July 11, 2019 at 3:23 pm - Reply

    I merely have to advise you that I am new to blogging and totally loved your page. Very likely I am likely to save your blog post . You indeed have lovely article content. Value it for discussing with us your web write-up

  18. Click on Sapid Agency July 12, 2019 at 11:50 pm - Reply

    Emery EPS is a Search Engine Optimization company that provides SEO Services. Their proprietary SEO strategies help struggling websites and aspiring business owners to rank their websites higher in multiple search engines like Google , Yahoo and Bing. They provide local and gmb map ranking for businesses in Coasta Rica, New York, Los Angeles, Portland, Sacramento, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Denver, Houston, California and many other local areas. Find more at https://www.emeryeps.com.

  19. Faytech North America July 15, 2019 at 10:35 am - Reply

    Faytech North America is a touch screen Manufacturer of both monitors and pcs. They specialize in the design, development, manufacturing and marketing of Capacitive touch screen, Resistive touch screen, Industrial touch screen, IP65 touch screen, touchscreen monitors and integrated touchscreen PCs. Contact them at http://www.faytech.us, 121 Varick Street, New York, NY 10013, +1 646 205 3214

  20. Tractor Workshop Manuals July 16, 2019 at 1:12 pm - Reply

    You will find on our sites distinctive no deposit bonuses,no deposit casino , no deposit poker , no deposit bingo , no deposit forex and all the very best deposit bonuses

  21. My Web July 17, 2019 at 12:58 am - Reply

    It is usually right time to produce some options for the upcoming. I have scan this blog posting and if I can possibly, I want to encourage you some important assistance.

  22. Sapid Agency SEO Consultant July 17, 2019 at 9:43 am - Reply

    Emery EPS is a Search Engine Optimization company that provides SEO Services. Their proprietary SEO strategies help struggling websites and aspiring business owners to rank their websites higher in multiple search engines like Google , Yahoo and Bing. They provide local and gmb map ranking for businesses in Coasta Rica, New York, Los Angeles, Portland, Sacramento, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Denver, Houston, California and many other local areas. Find more at https://www.emeryeps.com.

  23. he said July 17, 2019 at 11:50 pm - Reply

    It certainly is practically unthinkable to come across well-informed visitors on this issue, unfortunately you come across as like you understand those things you’re raving about! Regards

  24. click here for more July 19, 2019 at 1:25 am - Reply

    It truly is nearly unattainable to find well-qualified parties on this issue, however you appear like you be aware of the things that you’re writing about! Cheers

  25. SapidAgency July 19, 2019 at 5:39 am - Reply

    Emery EPS is a Search Engine Optimization company that provides SEO Services. Their proprietary SEO strategies help struggling websites and aspiring business owners to rank their websites higher in multiple search engines like Google , Yahoo and Bing. They provide local and gmb map ranking for businesses in Coasta Rica, New York, Los Angeles, Portland, Sacramento, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Denver, Houston, California and many other local areas. Find more at https://www.emeryeps.com.

  26. click to read July 21, 2019 at 3:02 am - Reply

    I simply hope to share it with you that I am new to having a blog and totally adored your work. Most likely I am inclined to save your blog post . You certainly have stunning article content. Value it for share-out with us all of your domain document

  27. more July 21, 2019 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    It is actually near not possible to see well-advised users on this area, regrettably you look like you know whatever you’re posting on! With Thanks

  28. my company July 21, 2019 at 1:25 pm - Reply

    It truly is near unattainable to come across well-advised individuals on this issue, however , you appear like you be aware of what exactly you’re posting on! Appreciation

  29. read this July 21, 2019 at 2:10 pm - Reply

    Very informative information you have mentioned, a big heads up for publishing.

Let me know your thoughts

Your email address will not be published.